We meet many different types of men on a daily basis. Some are very obviously alpha males from the front; from the outside. Others are quietly so. And the rest are betas or a mixture of the two.
This post is for those of us looking for an alpha male.
The key thing I guess I have learned, and particularly want to talk about today, is the fact that men are watching. Men are watching you, everywhere. All the time.
Responding to any man’s opinion of you
So I have a group of girlfriends, of which half are in a relationship and the rest single. The four of us are very, very different. The strongest of the relationships is my friend Daisy’s* relationship with her fiancé, Stephen*.
Stephen is an alpha male if there ever was one.
Stephen met daisy on a night out, saw her and simply had to have her. Daisy – from what I heard – played a little “hard to get”. She literally wouldn’t give him her phone number, he had to track her down on social media and asked for the digits a few times before she finally gave him it.
If Stephen was not an alpha male, this simply would not have happened.
Over the course of their engagement, Daisy has been telling Stephen important details from events that happen in our friendship group, everything from nights out, dinners, shopping days to simple chats on the sofa. She shares everything with him that he requires to know. Always expect your friends’ husbands and partners who are alpha males to know about you, because they do.
The reason for this is that alpha males, more often than not, concern themselves with who their girlfriend is hanging out with. These males know, and rightly so, what the opinions, actions and behaviours of his woman’s friends can potentially do to their relationship whether good or bad. The alpha male doesn’t want her friends to talk badly about him, to give his woman any unwelcome ideas or teach her subtly to become manipulative. Equally, the alpha male wants his wife or girlfriends to have friends who behave in such a way that he would like his wife to behave.
Now, at this point you may be thinking… how does it affect me, what my friend’s husband thinks of me? When you are not trying to impress him, but find a man of your own?
What he thinks of you is a mirror of what any potential alpha male thinks of you as a romantic prospect.
So let me give you my own example of this from my own life, and tell you how I gain from this situation.
Never do I speak badly about Stephen to Daisy, or to anyone.
I always encourage Daisy to be patient, feminine and always remind her of Stephen’s good points when she wants to vent or moan about him.
I always take a polite interest in Stephen when I see him, and show him parts of my life e.g. my new home, to see how he responds to the actions and decisions I have taken. This not only builds Stephen’s trust in me, but it lets me see how am I doing in the eyes of an alpha.
When Daisy and Stephen were arguing on a night out, I chose to avoid the drama and talk good things about each person to the other. I chose to calm the argument rather than fuel it. I did not take her side like most women do. I had grown, evolved and chose to not hate men. I chose to be the friend of men and not fan the heated drama that most men hate.
Stephen was concerned that Daisy may cheat on him because another girl in our friendship group is cheating on her partner. I responded to Stephen’s openness about his concerns by informing him that actually, Daisy can’t stop talking about how happy she is to be with him, and to look at myself – I haven’t turned into a cheating woman who sleeps around so why would Daisy?
I help Daisy with her relationship. If Daisy wants to cook a meal for Stephen I help her come up with ideas or learn how to be a better cook.
Because of all the above, Stephen tells Daisy that he’s glad she has me a friend and that he likes me the most out of the group. Woopee, I hear you say.
It has emerged that Stephen has a very close single male friend who is looking for his own relationship. This male friend is finding it hard to meet the kind of woman he needs. Stephen and Daisy have told him I exist. Stephen has sung my praises. The friend is very interested.
This little story would never have happened had I not remembered that men are watching, all the time.
You Are Who You Spend Time With
Another facet to this story is that, the more time I spend with Daisy and Stephen, the closer I myself feel to achieving the same. Instead of lusting after what they have, my confidence is growing and I know that I am more ready every day for when my own man arrives. Even more ready than Daisy.
I choose to spend time nurturing the things in my life that I know are appealing to romance. I work hard in my job but I know my career is not the most important thing in the world. Intelligence, however is always appealing and lifetime learning is so important. Experience and knowledge make you an interesting person, rather than just a pretty face to look at. If you can physically attract, mentally stimulate and emotionally soften a man, he will be yours.
Don’t be afraid to avoid the feminist way of life. It’s not wrong to want to get on with men, even to want to please them. It’s not wrong.
Don’t be shy to admit that you are feminine and to embrace your femininity and show it off!
Do enjoy being kind to all men and not going down the typical route of hating them.
For more of learning how to embrace your locked away femininity, and start restoring the harmony between the masculine and feminine relationships in your life, and generally to be happier and go slightly against the grain… enter your email address below or contact me here.
Wishing you dear reader more love, light and harmony in all areas of your life.