Build A Successful Life – Don’t Let Your Boyfriend Be In Control

There comes a point in a successful girl’s life when we have to talk about men. Unfortunately.

What happens when a bright, beautiful young lady lets her boyfriend influence her self-esteem? The results are always tragic.

This is not about hating men. This is about recognising that they don’t like it when a girl revolves her life around them. And I see too many girls who spend their waking hours whining to their friends about why he hasn’t called or why he’s been withdrawn. I think these girls need to start doing themselves a favour by increasing their self worth and focusing on their lives.

There is an old saying: before you can love someone else, you need to love yourself first.
I want girls to have a glamorous and successful life, AND a decent relationship. I don’t want them to spend time analysing their man’s every action.

And that’s why I’ve written this post.

Before you even think about making that guy your boyfriend, make sure you gain 100% self-worth. OWN IT. If you’re already in the predicament of being with a guy who knows you’re unsure of yourself? Take back control and ownership, quickly, of your self-esteem before it’s too late.

Maybe you don’t think you’re all that. (And you should).

But don’t let him know that.

I know it’s comforting to be with the guy 24/7 because he sees you as the cutest thing since pikachu, makes your voice squeaky and turns your behaviour into an act that, if you’re friends saw, would be embarassing.

But making sure that, at the end of the day, you know who you are and you know you’re going SOMEWHERE is the best thing you can do for any relationship and most importantly for your life and health.

I mean yeah, he COULD end up the one you’re with forever, and if so, tell me:


I’m sorry I just get emotional. WAKE UP.

Give the guy and yourself some breathing space.

Coming from experience, I’ve always felt that a boyfriend wants his girlfriend the most and comes at her from all angles when she’s determined and focused on something. SOMETHING OTHER THAN HIM.


A job interview.

An exam.

A blog. Hello!

Friggin…a new mascara!!!

It doesn’t matter what you’re focused on, the point is guys like it. You might think this means that you’ll lose him. That you’re not paying enough attention to him.

Let me tell you something. It’s the complete opposite.

Sure…he’ll take his moods. He’ll go in a huff. He’ll throw his toy out the pram. Cos you’re not giving the little one enough energy to sap. And he loves fighting for it.

So the best thing about what I’m telling you is that not only do you get your life back, you also get an increase in attention from him. Which is fun. But don’t care too much about that, cos it defeats the purpose…

Just something amusing about your phone ringing off the hook ten times a second when you’re usually the one waiting and longing for his calls/texts/bbm/skype/tweets. I don’t like to see a girl sitting waiting on a guy for the wrong reason.

If you’re lucky enough to find the right guy to treat you well from the start – congratulations, you won’t need to play games. And you’ll know that as soon as you meet him. Unfortunately, the dating game can be harsh but women have wised up as to how to play it. Because we have learned, from all the tears and drama and hurt, that sometimes, we DO have to play a little game.

I know boyfriends are one of the most important (or at least frequent) topics of conversation amongst girls everywhere. I just wanted to give you my two cents. But I want to know your stories, your lessons learnt, your tears (that have gone to waste..) and most importantly – your advice.



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